Midlife Dating | Ghosted At 40

So, I got "ghosted" this week and I'm still trying to wrap my head around it. It's a first for me... like, seriously...

An online encounter...

As a typical 40-year-old woman in my city, my life revolved around work, parenting, and family. One evening, fueled by wine, I confidently navigated through profiles until I stumbled upon his - a captivating mix of Irish wit and charm. Our conversations quickly mirrored those seen in classic films like 'When Harry Met Sally.' The connection felt genuine, until it no longer was.

Gone like the wind... but with less sound effects!

I woke up one morning, after a night out with family. He had left the usual "have fun - enjoy your night" message the night before. Without hesitation, I replied, and he assured me he'd call later that day. However, the call never came. Not the next day, nor the day after that. Instead, there was silence. No witty hello text, no clever goodnight message, just radio silence. It felt as though the power had been cut, leaving me in the dark, alone, trying to find the switch. It was like waiting for a punchline that never arrived, leaving me hanging in a sort of purgatory.

I wanted to wring his Irish neck!!!!!

Overthinking: When your mind is like a search engine on overdrive!

By the third day, I was in full-blown detective mode, dissecting conversations like a forensic expert, decoding texts and emojis like a cryptographer. The mystery of his sudden exit left me suspended in a limbo of uncertainty. It sucked!

I found it staggering how the absence of him, his presence, and his words could conjure such a plethora of emotions in me: doubt, frustration, and insecurity. So much so, I started to think that maybe it was my fault, that I did something so cringe-worthy, that it was ME who sent him running for the hills...

... for like a second.

Accepting the harsh reality...

So, in the middle of my mini emotional meltdown, it hit me: when he ghosted me, it wasn't really about me. It was more about his own stuff, you know, his own problems, fears, and struggles with dealing with real connections. We live in a world of quick swipes and instant messages, making it so easy to just vanish. But honestly, isn't that kind of cowardly?

It was satisfying to uncover this realization, yet somewhat disheartening: a grown man, exuding that timeless Irish charm and possessing a face fit for a cologne ad, was displaying emotionally immature behaviour.

Although I wish him well, I still can't help but feel the strong urge to wring his neck!

Presenting my insights on "Ghosting"...

Hey, so, let's be real here - ghosting is just plain cowardly. It's like trying to dodge an awkward situation, avoiding being open and honest, and not giving someone the respect they should get. If you're getting close to someone emotionally, it's only fair to have a proper chat, even if it's a bit tough.

Hey, I've been there too. Yeah, I'll admit it. I've ghosted people before, and it's pretty embarrassing to say that. Well, karma finally caught up with me, and let me tell you, it's been a hard lesson to learn. Experiencing ghosting from the other side really made me see the impact of my actions. It's a good reminder that we should treat others how we'd like to be treated – you know, with kindness, respect, and consideration. Thinking about the effects of ghosting, I've realized how much it can hurt the person on the receiving end. Being ignored or dismissed without an explanation can really mess with someone's self-esteem and trust in others. It's crucial to understand that what we do has consequences that go beyond what we might realize at first. By acknowledging the pain we may have caused through ghosting, we can try to be more understanding and thoughtful in our interactions. Building real connections means being open and respectful. Let's take our slip-ups as lessons and work towards nurturing relationships based on respect and empathy.

~mahsi!